When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to 


, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband

].” 1


 Peter 3:2 Amplified version

It is said that if you do something for 30 consecutive days that it will more than likely become a lifelong habit.  For the next 30 days, I encourage you to do the following:

Ask the Holy Spirit each day to help you to keep from saying anything criticalto or about your husband.  If you do happen to criticize Him, apologize to him. If you do happen to speak ill of him to someone else, go to the person and ask for their forgiveness and ask them to hold you accountable to only say that which is positive about him. If you have friends who engage in ‘husband bashing’ and you have the tendency to do the same in their company refrain from being with them.

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging,quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman.” Proverbs 21:9


Seek to affirm your husband rather than tearing him down. Keep in mind that what you focus on will expand! If you’d like to experience greater love from your husband, the key is showing him respect. Take the time to consider your husband’s character attributes or skills and talents and affirm him in that area.  For example:  if he is a great handyman, let him know how much you appreciate how he is able to fix so many things around your house.  Or, let him know how much you appreciate how hard he works and his being the financial provider for your family. If he is a man of integrity let him know how much that means to you.   There is always something about him for which you can be thankful; I encourage you to regularly take the time in a face-to-face setting to share with him what it is that you treasure about him.

Keep in mind, your words have the power of life and death, and they reveal your heart toward your husband, as well as your heart toward God.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue; And they that love it shall eat the   fruit thereof. “ Proverbs 18:21

“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

Your respect for your husband is vital to his seeing himself as God sees him, and your obedience to respect your husband is one way that you can show your respect and love for God and His Word. God is for youfor your husband, and most of all for your marriage and He desires that it is a living reflection of His relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:32)

Do you regularly edify your husband?  Would he say that he feels and knows that you respect him? Is there something that God is convicting you of today that is a way that you can demonstrate that you treasure your husband?

Written by Julie Van Gorp