Families are undoubtedly one of God’s greatest blessings, but they can also pose some of the greatest challenges in our lives. One of those challenges occurs when family members don’t understand our love for the Lord, and perhaps even mock our beliefs and devotion to God. Mocking from family members can be very frustrating and even painful to endure— a real testing of your faith. Viewing the mocking as a testing of your faith and an opportunity for you to have God’s character formed in you can help you to endure—and even rejoice in— the mocking. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
What are some things that can help you to endure the mocking of family members?
- Pray that God will give you His heart to love them as He loves you (John 13:34). God placed you in your family for a reason. He loves and died for each member of your family and it is His desire that ‘all should be saved and come to the knowledge of Him’. (1st Timothy 2:4) He longs to use you as an instrument of His grace in your family member’s life. Ask God to give you a revelation of how deep His love is for the family member(s) who mocks you. Love them where they are, without expecting them to act the way you want them to. Remember, Jesus died for you while you were a sinner; He didn’t wait to die for you until you had it all together. (Romans 5:8) He is patient and long-suffering with you, and He asks you and equips you to be patient and loving with those in your life who sometimes act ‘unlovable’.
- Keep your eyes on Jesus and the cross! When you are suffering from the insults, remember that Jesus knows what it feels like to be misunderstood and rejected. Not only by outsiders, but also by those in his home town and family members. (Mark 6:1-6) (Mark 3:20-21) When you feel overwhelmed and defeated, ask Him to give you the same strength that He had when He endured the scourging, the mocking, the humiliation, as well as the physical pain of the cross. (Hebrews 12:3)
- Make sure to be ‘prayed up’ before you get together with or make phone calls to them. Family members know best which buttons to push so it’s easy to lose control of your emotions. It’s important that you ask God ‘to search your heart’ to see if there are sins you need to confess to Him and/or to the family member. Your sins may be contributing to the mocking, or leading you to respond to the mocking in an ungodly way (Psalm 139:23). Some of those sins may include: pride, selfishness, anger, lack of love for your family member, wanting your family member’s approval more than wanting to please God, and loving the family member more than loving God. Ask Jesus to fill you with His will and emotions so that His life will flow through you—which is the ‘fruit of the Spirit’ (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
- Ask God to give you the ability to be like Jesus who remained silent and did not retaliate when He was mocked; He knew He could entrust His life to His Heavenly Father. (1st Peter 2:23) Trust God to be able to ‘judge between you’ and the one mocking you. (1st Samuel 24:12) And if you ‘lose your cool’ and respond in an unloving way, humble yourself, go to the person and apologize. “A kind word turns away wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1)
- Ask the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and discernment in all of your dealings with your family member(s). There may be times when the Holy Spirit clearly leads you to defend your faith and other times when He leads you to remain silent. Recognize that you are not responsible for the salvation of the person…only the Father can draw them (John 6:44). However, God does long for you to represent the truth of Who He is and His heart of love for your family member. Ask the Lord to make you aware of opportunities to share the truth of the gospel with your family, and to always do so in a spirit of love and respect for the person. (Ephesians 4:15) Look for ways to tangibly demonstrate God’s sacrificial love and His humble heart by serving your family member(s). (John 13:13-17)
- If you find that their mocking is causing you to doubt God’s Word and negatively impact your relationship with Jesus, you may need to limit the amount of time you spend with them or even refrain from contact with them for a period of time. God has given us families as a tremendous gift, but we must always remember that He is the Giver of Every Gift and we are to love Him above all, even our families!(Matthew 10:37)
Written by JVG
I recently had an intense conversation with my Christian brother about living a Godly and Holy life. He said to me the following: “I (my brother) would like to live a more Godly and Holy life, but I don’t do it. Why don’t I?” I responded to him with the following answer: “The reason that we don’t live a more Godly and Holy life is because God has not yet given us the power to do so.” I responded this way because I believe that we to not have the power to do so within ourselves. My brother laughed at my response and got a very smug look on his face and he told me that my response to his question was foolish. His wife (my sister-in-law) accused me of being argumentative. I immediately left his apartment with a great deal of anger in my heart toward him and her. I have decided to not to visit them ever again. I find it very difficult to understand why professing Christians would mock the power of God to bring us to a place of Godly and Holy living. I am looking forward to the day when He does this for me. I cannot live a Godly and Holy life without the Lord’s power in my life. Am I wrong for believing this? I don’t think that I am. I believe my position is Biblically sound on this matter. Maybe I am wrong!
Dear Daniel,
First, thank you for reaching out! We so appreciate your desire to live a life that is pleasing to God, and we agree with you that a person can only do so by relying upon the power of the Holy Spirit Who has been given to and is at work in all who put their faith and trust in Him. Praise God that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in all of us who put our faith in Him! Through Him we have the power to overcome every temptation, every sin, and to live a life that is pleasing to God. He specifically tells us that if we walk by the Spirit we will not satisfy the desires of our flesh. However, He has also given us the choice; will we choose to walk in the power of the Spirit, or will we instead choose to satisfy the desires of our flesh? In other words, will we obey God‘s commands that He gave to us for our good and abide in Him and bear the fruit that come from living in obedience, or will we instead obey the dictates of our selfish desires?
Regarding your brother’s initial question, our response to him would have been the following: When we do not live holy lives in obedience to God’s commands and what we may profess we desire to do, it is because of our unwillingness to deny ourselves, to pick up our cross daily, and to follow Him. (Luke 9:23) Instead of dying to our selfish, self-centered ways—which we must do to follow Jesus—we choose to live in accordance with our will and our desires rather than God’s perfect will and His desires.
It is by walking in the Spirit, rather than living for our fleshly desires, that we will be able to live a life that is holy and pleasing to God.
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:16-17 ESV
As it relates to your leaving your brother and sister-in-law‘s home angry, we would encourage you to recognize that Satan, the enemy of your soul and theirs, would love to bring division within your family. God‘s heart is always for unity among His children. He longs for us to love one another, and to treat one another with gentleness, kindness, and respect. We are at all times to be clothed in humility and love, preferring others over ourselves (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). We also are not to be ignorant of Satan’s schemes (2 Corinthians 2:11), which include stirring up division between us and others, and attempting to separate us from fellowship with God.
Since you express the desire to follow Jesus and live a life pleasing to Him, we would encourage you to go before Him in prayer. Ask Him to forgive you for any pride that may be in your heart; for any sinful anger towards your brother and your sister-in-law; and for Him to give you His heart of love for for them and for Him. God‘s heart is always for unity within the body of Christ; that we would be one as Jesus and our Heavenly Father are one. (John 17:20-23) when we are willing to humble ourselves, to die to our selfish ways, and we choose to live in accordance with His commands that He has given to us for our good, we will abide in Him and produce the fruit that will last—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. (John 15:1-17; Galatians 5:22-23)
Daniel, we hope that our response has been helpful to you. May the Lord continue to draw you ever an even closer to His heart of love for you; may He grant to you an even greater understanding of His awesome character and perfect ways; and may He give you even greater revelation and understanding of His Word so that you may live all of your days in accordance with His perfect will for your good, and for the glory of His great Name!
Blessings to you,
Julie and Jamie