Recently I’ve been reading a lot about parenting, marriage and Godly relationships as well as mentoring women on this issue.  As parents we can be prone to enabling our children without even being aware of it!  Daily we are given opportunities to equip our children, and teach them that God is the Source and we are only here as a resource to point them to the Source.  God needs to be their Savior and mine vs. me trying to be their savior and “save the day”!  Here is a quick formula I’ve been using when my children (ages 14, 12, & 10) come to me with their “struggles.”    It’s the 1, 2, 3 of equipping thee.

1. I love you

2. You are capable

3. Pray to God and ask Him to help you right now

Here’s an example of when I had to use this recently with my daughter.   One night she was babysitting with a friend in our neighborhood when I get a call.

Daughter:  “Mom, you have to come here right now!  The light in the hallway just turned off by itself and we are totally freaked out.”  

Me:  “Are there any other lights on?”

Daughter: “yeah”

Me: “I think the lightbulb in the hallway just burned out, you’re going to be fine.  I love you, I know you’re capable of handling this, and I want you and your friend to pray and ask God to help you have courage and not to be afraid.”  

Daughter:  “but I really need you to come here, I would feel a lot better.”

Me:  “You are capable of praying and asking God for His peace.  I’ll text you soon and check on you, but I’m not coming over there.  You can do this.”

Daughter:  “Fine.”

20 Min. Later.  I got the text below and celebrated.  


I need to let God be God and teach my children to go to Him whenever possible vs. thinking that me, my husband or any other person can be or do what only God can do in situations like this.  As a mother it would’ve felt great to be the one to swoop in and “save the day” by going there, praying for her, and assuring her that there were no scary people turning off the hall lights, but parenting isn’t about what makes me feel good.  It’s about equipping them to go to God, lean on God, trust in God and have faith in His character.  I am always looking for ways to point them to His power and love.  My children are capable and so are yours!   What can you stop doing for your children today?

Written by Jamie Shaver